Dating Dilemmas And Advice

Coping with a Passive Aggressive Girlfriend

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"Coping with a Passive Aggressive Girlfriend"
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There are numerous challenges to coping with a passive aggressive girlfriend. She may hurt  you without even realizing it, in ways that are very subtle but still present. There are various strategies to deal with such a situation.

Talk to your girlfriend

Passive aggressive behavior is sometimes done on purpose and sometimes inadvertent. No matter which it is, it is not a positive method of communication between a boyfriend and a girlfriend. You may want to get things out in the open by talking to your girlfriend. You should not accuse her to start a fight but instead try to have a logical discussion in which you describe your feelings about her behavior. You should give her concrete examples of when she displayed this behavior because there is a good chance that she may deny it. Even if she denies that she is passive aggressive you can still explain that these actions of hers were negative to you.

Some may find it best to speak at a general time when everything is okay, whereas others may want to point out when a specific passive aggressive instance occurs.

You will also want to ask her about her feelings. A lot of girlfriends are afraid to bring up when something is wrong. She may be worried that it will hurt the relationship or just not know how to tell you. The feelings need to get out somehow, however, and that is often when the passive aggressive behavior emerges.  If you can talk about any issues that she has then it may help stop the passive aggressive behavior. You can ask her about issues when something specific happens or schedule talks so she can get out any issues, which are bothering her.

Hopefully your girlfriend will be receptive to what you say and make steps to change it. If not you will have different choices. Some may feel that they want a relationship with healthier form of communication. For a lot of people, passive aggressive is engrained in them and cannot change.

Of course, many boyfriends will still want to be with their girlfriends despite their passive aggressive behavior and then you will need to look for other ways to cope. You may find that you can ignore the behavior without getting too upset. You may find others to provide a support system.  Just make sure that you deal with it in a healthy manner so that you do not start to display the same passive aggressive behavior yourself.

More about this author: Suzanne Rose

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