How many times did you get in an argument with your partner over a minor problem? Did you regret starting the fight? All couples quarrel over insignificant issues. Fights are as inevitable as learning how to accept each other.
What holds importance is differentiating an argument for the sake of that argument and an argument when you have something of importance to stand for. Avoiding fights is impossible but you can learn to deal with arguments and quarrels that start over minor issues.
As your relationship evolves, you will learn to take no notice of the little annoying habits of a partner. While you get to know more about each other and deal with differences, use these simple strategies to overcome problematic situations and minimize the chances of a fight taking place.
TAKE SOME TIME TO COOL DOWN
If you feel angry or disappointed with your partner, try to get yourself busy. Go for a walk. Talk to a friend. Exercise. Do whatever you need to take your mind off that problematic issue.
As your mind gets focused on something else, you will slowly begin calming down. You will become once again able to think rationally. Getting yourself distanced from the problem will allow you to analyze and decide whether the argument is really worth it.
Most often, as time passes, you will regret starting a fight over something insignificant. Before you begin quarreling, take your time to assess the situation.
THINK BEFORE YOU TALK
As a debate gets heated people tend to stop thinking. We can all remember at least several instances during which something inappropriate or hurtful was blurted in the middle of a heated verbal skirmish.
Insulting statements come as a result of negative emotions and the subconscious desire to get even. Whenever you feel angry, take a deep breath and just remain quiet for several seconds. The urge to say something mean to your partner will diminish.
Think before you talk. Anger and bitterness are not the best advisors to listen to. Relax. Learn to let go of your disappointment without hurting your partner.
DISCUSS THE ISSUE
Working on avoiding fights does not signify neglecting problems that arise in a relationship. Your point was probably valid but starting a fight was not the best way to convince your partner.
Be open about feelings and discuss troublesome issues with your loved one. Learn how to speak to each other instead of remaining silent and allowing problems to pile until you can take no more.
Being open about your feelings and discussing problems honestly will help you deal with small problems, which have the potential to turn into large issues. To avoid fights you need to learn how communicate about those difficult aspects of a relationship.
GET IN THE SHOES OF YOUR PARTNER
Each time a fight is about to erupt, try to get in the shoes of your partner. Imaging what the issue looks like to your loved one will probably diminish your anger.
Remember that each argument has two sides. Your point of view seems to be valid but probably there is some truth in the words of your partner, as well. Try to distance yourself from the situation, try to ‘see’ what is going on in your partner’s mind.
As time passes and the two of you get to know each other, you will be able to easily distinguish your partner’s moods.
When you sense that something is wrong, you need to get your partner talking. Allowing bitterness to build up is a certain way to start a fight. Take preventive measures before the argument escalates. If you sense that your partner is disappointed, be the first one to address the issue.
THE POWER OF COMPROMISE
Each one of us knows that relationships are built on compromises. Magazines repeat this mantra over and over again. Relationship books confirm that statement. Yet, we often underestimate the power of a compromise.
If a specific issue gets your partner very excited and passionate, you should probably let go. A compromise will show your loved one that you really care and are willing to step back.
Know when a compromise is acceptable. Some major problems need an adequate solution instead of having one of the people in a couple surrendering to the wishes or demands of the other. Learning when and how to compromise could be difficult. Try to balance your individual desires and the issues that are important to the development of your relationship.
Learning how to deal with minor irritations will help you get issues solved without starting a fight. Proper and open communication with your partner will allow you to make your point better than holding stubbornly on to something. A relationship involves two people. Trying to figure out what will work for both of you is the best way to go.