Dating Psychology

Dealing with Guys who Play Mind Games



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Men who play mind games in relationships are usually insecure and difficult to predict.  Mind games are a form of manipulation in order to make a person feel like they are in control and in power over a situation.  There are no valid reasons for playing mind games in healthy relationships.  If you are a woman who is dating a man who goes out of his way to toy with your affections, then you should run, not walk in the opposite direction and get as far away from him as you can.  No good can come of a relationship with a man who feels that the only way to test your feelings for him is to have a good offense. 

Some men have egos that are so fragile, they are afraid to show the slightest sign of vulnerability.  Most cultures raise boys to put on a show of bravado, even if it is false.  When a man you are dating plays mind games with you, he could actually be crying for help.  Deep down inside, men who play mind games know that what they are doing is wrong and sick, but they might see no other way to feel in control. 

 Usually, men who play mind games had a difficult upbringing.  Perhaps their relationship with their family wasn’t stable and loving.  Or, maybe they were mistreated by their peers in school.  Whatever the reason, these types of men crave control because previously in their lives their control was stripped from them.  To compensate for their feelings of powerlessness or inadequacy, men who play mind games with women they are dating may not even recognize the real reasons why they are even playing games to begin with.  However, they are still a danger to you emotionally and possibly physically. 

Some examples of games that men play are to avoid your phone calls, mislead you, try to make you jealous of other women in their lives, verbally or physically abuse you, or crank call you.  These types of men are emotional bullies who don’t display any signs of having a conscience and they don’t deserve second chances from you.  It is understandable that you may have feelings for a man who plays mind games with you and you want to do everything in your power to make the relationship work, but you need to let him go.  He doesn’t need a relationship, he needs therapy first so that he can work through his issues and try to become a better person. 

Give him a time limit of 30 days to adjust his behavior and if he doesn’t meet that time limit, inform him that he is no longer welcome in your life and the relationship is over.  People can change but only if they want to and it is best for the both of you if you split up and give him a chance to work on his mental health.  You don’t need to be his verbal and emotional punching bag and he’ll never learn that he needs to change if you keep enabling his crazy behavior. 

Ignore his phone calls, messages to you and any form of outreach he tries to make towards you.  Thank your lucky stars that you ended the relationship before your life was in danger and seek a mentally healthy man who genuinely wants to form a good relationship with you.  You’ll never regret closing the door to a man who plays mind games with you but you may regret keeping him in your life for a longer time period than you should.     

More about this author: Akua Hinds

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