Romance And Sexuality

Do Threesomes Spoil a Relationship or Spice it up



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"Do Threesomes Spoil a Relationship or Spice it up"
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The age old dilemma of the threesome, will it add something to a relationship or obliterate it? The general reaction, especially among men is go for it! Women are is into as men are, we just don't say it quite so loudly or often. Just because someone may fantasize about it doesn't necessarily mean it's a good thing, there are many things you have to examine before jumping in and deciding whether a threesome is right for your relationship or not.

The first thing to question is the strength of your relationship. Sharing a partner, whether they be a spouse or steady date, in an intimate manner with another person requires a wealth of trust. If you have any doubts in your mind that your partner is going to start cutting you out of the menage, and potentially relationship, then it is not for you. If you're the jealous type that worries your partner may pay too much attention to the third member, again, a threesome is not going to spice things up. You're going to be so focused on that and paranoid you'll begin manufacturing issues where none may exist.

A second point to examine is are you doing this for you, your partner, or it is an equal desire you share? Are you considering a threesome because you both believe it will strengthen your relationship, or is it because you're trying to salvage a failing relationship? It is a big difference even if the line between the two is fine at times. In regards to who the threesome is for, if you are pushing for it purely for your own self gratification it will likely damage your relationship, remember that a partnership is about two people, not one. If you are doing it for your partner, be sure you really want to do it or else you may wind up resenting them for it. If you're uncomfortable the experience isn't going to be good for anyone involved. if however you both feel it is the right thing and are doing it for each other then it is most likely it will add plenty of spark to your relationship.

With that said, the process of deciding if a threesome will spark or douse your relationship is just beginning. What are the ground rules? Yes there often are rules to setting up the threesome. Who will be third member? Will it be someone you know or are you looking for a stranger? Each has pros and cons. There may be more comfort with a known person, but you have to remember this is someone you are going to see again. What will the relationship with them be like afterwards? That does effect the status of your relationship as a couple in many cases. With a stranger or very casual acquaintance you don't have that worry, but you also don't know them very well which could lead to tension during the threesome and spoil everything.

Further examining the composition of the threesome, let's get specific. Assuming we are discussing a heterosexual couple, will the third member be male or female? Men tend to assume that it will always be a woman that joins in, but let's be honest, many women would enjoy two men just as much as many men would enjoy two women. Don't assume anything here, make sure you are very clear as to this aspect of the threesome. Imagine how quickly a man expecting to walk into his dream threesome with two women would be devastated to see his partner waiting for him with another man! It goes the other way too. In general, women are more receptive to experimenting with a same sex partner than men, but it shouldn't be taken for granted that you are both thinking the same thing when you discuss a threesome in general terms. Failing to set ground rules about this will kill a relationship.

A threesome is great and will add spice to most relationships if both partners agree on what it is and isn't in advance of trying it out. For a threesome to really light a spark you have to discuss it in advance and not allow yourself to get caught up in the passion of the moment without considering the consequences. Those observations can be personally attested to. For most couples secure in their relationship and individual sexuality a threesome may very well be the ticket to rekindling a dying flame or sparking a new one.



 

More about this author: Lynette Alice

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