Family Dysfunction

Dysfunctional Mother and Son Relationships

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"Dysfunctional Mother and Son Relationships"
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The concept of dysfunctional parent-child let alone mother-son relationships was something I thought existed in fiction. However, I was sadly mistaken. On top of that, I have an aunt and a cousin that are in a dysfunctional mother and son relationship. Actually, the aunt has two sons. The relationship between my aunt and her two sons are quite dysfunctional.

The relationship with each of her sons is quite different. In one relationship, they are quite antagonistic towards each other.
In the other relationship, the aunt can be quite antagonistic towards the other son. I really did not understand the relationship between my aunt and her two sons until I had gotten older. Then again, I never really could stand my aunt. She tried to impose her lifestyle and her views upon me. If I was her son, it would probably be a very dysfunctional relationship.

Without delving much into the personal details, I noticed that this had brought a whole interesting perspective. However, there are plenty of similar dysfunctional mother and son relationships like this one. This brings up one of the most common dysfunctional mother and son relationships.
In a sense, it does pay off to have relatives with such dysfunctional relationships.

Scenario One:

There are mothers, like my aunt for instance, that get really paranoid of what people really think about her. In turn, it does affect the children. In most cases, it teaches children many negative things. One could ask: How is that the case?

There are two phrases: "Keeping up appearances" and "Keeping up with the Joneses." In that case, both phrases give the nutshell explanation of a person that is bent on maintaining the illusion that one is loaded and so forth.
In the mother's case, she is not loaded.
But, she will not admit it out of concern and paranoia of what other people would think about her.

In one aspect, the mother would be constantly spending without thinking about the need to save money for a rainy day. At the same time, the mother will spoil her sons. In most cases, the mother may constantly spoil one of them. How does that lead to a dysfunctional mother and son relationship? The answer is that the son was "handed everything." In that sense, the son will develop a sense of entitlement without truly knowing the effort and value of hard work.

At the same time, the son becomes very manipulative and spoiled. In that respect, the mother does not know what had gone wrong. Then again, the mother may have a bunch of social issues in that respect. Overall, it spells out a dysfunctional mother and son relationship.

In addition, there was an aura of harsh strictness from the mother to the son. Overall, they are both to blame for the dysfunctional mother and son relationship. The mother was a screwed up individual. In turn, the son became a very manipulative, spoiled, and ungrateful individual. However, it was the mother's priority of trying to keep up with the Joneses. In turn, the son learns and attempts to try blackmailing/manipulating the mother for whatever he wants. This is a way in which a dysfunctional mother and son relationship ends up brewing.
Such relations can and will brew for several years and will remain that way for the rest of their lives.

Scenario Two:

This is similar to scenario one. However, add an extra child or two. Usually, the middle or the youngest tend to be the one that is neglected. In the case of two children let alone two sons, the youngest son tends to be the one that is neglected. At times, it could also be vice-versa. If the sons have different fathers, then it is very much the case.

When one is spoiled, the other son is neglected. The mother usually takes out the anger on the son that has been neglected. In turn, that develops into another type of dysfunctional mother and son relationship. The neglected children tend to be quiet and "fade" away. It gets really dramatic when the mother accuses that son of being distant and so forth.

Scenario Three:

This scenario is something I had learned from watching "Diary of a Tired Black Man." This scenario is something that tends to affect America's black community as a whole from what the film shows. The film was a combination of a documentary and a drama movie.

It explained how mothers ended emotionally and mentally breaking down their sons. The movie explained that they would tell their sons that they would never amount to anything and be good for nothings just like their fathers. In that sense, the mothers take the anger towards the fathers out on their sons. That in turn ends up into a dysfunctional mother and son relationship.

When these scenarios are factored together, anything can turn into a dysfunctional mother and son relationship. It is usually the fault of the mother's parenting style for the most part. The parenting style of the father could also be to blame as well. At the same time, something could have happened to the mother when she was younger to end up being that way. Dysfunctional mother and son relationships can happen when step-parents get factored into the mix as well. In a sense, dysfunctional mother and son relationships tend to carry on in a vicious cycle.

More about this author: Can Tran

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