Marital Conflicts

How a Husbands Expectations of a Stay at Home Mom can cause Marital Issues



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We have all heard the jokes or watch the sitcoms on TV, that really play up the leisurely life of a stay at home mom.  While we all know it is a joke, but how many people actually think that being a stay at home mom is not a full time job? Who ever really think this is how a stay at home mom’s day goes obviously has never stayed home with the children for a long period of time. This is especially true when you have partner has no clue what goes on during the day nor has any respect for you and what you do as a stay at home mom.

While there may be some middle ground to be had, the first thing you need to do before you decide to become a stay at home mom is to define the expectation that each partner has regarding a stay at home mom.  

The first thing to consider is if you both on the same page as to the validity, need and respect of being a stay at home mom.   Many people believe that being a stay at home mom is the best thing for the children and some feel the finances are more important than having a parent home.  Even worse, some people have no respect for a stay at home mother in the least and have no problem calling stay at home moms lazy.  These are all things you need know before you decide to become a stay at home mom.   If one person has a negative outlook on being a stay at home mom, nothing you do will ever change their mind.  You will have to accept their view, deal with the negativity and move on or it will become a push/ pull game of you trying defend your status of a stay at home mom and their accusations that being a stay at home mom is not a job.

 If you are both on the same page as to it being best for the children then it becomes a job of figuring out what expectation each person has of the position.  I mean she can have an idea of being able to do minimal work and leave everything for him or for older children to do.  Maybe he has the “Leave it to Beaver” idea in his head about what a stay at home mom is.  No matter what the expectation are if you two talk about them and set some ground rules then you are not going to have too many major issues between the two of you.   The more you can compromise on the better you will be as a couple in the long term. 

 Like everything else in marriage, it is all about communication.  If you cannot talk and set up ground rules to achieve a middle ground to each of your expectations, being a stay at home mom will not be a happy experience.  However if you can communicate and are on the same page being a stay at home mom can be the best thing for the children and the family. 

More about this author: Mellissa Withers

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