Marital Conflicts

How Lies Affect a Marriage

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"How Lies Affect a Marriage"
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A successful marriage is based on a lot of factors but I feel that love and trust are two of the main factors needed if a marriage has a chance of surviving. Next to love, trust is essential for any kind of relationship. Lies do nothing but hurt and destroy a marriage.

There are certain little white lies that are harmless, such as lying about a Christmas present or a surprise birthday party. Some feel it's okay to lie about how your spouse looks in a certain outfit or about a gift that your spouse bought for you. Sometimes a little lie is needed to keep from hurting the feelings of the one you love. These types of lies are usually acceptable and do nothing to harm a marriage. However, some spouses believe in the old saying that "honesty is the best policy" and always want the truth, even if it hurts. In that case, it's best to respect your spouse's wishes and be honest with them.

Lies become a problem when they start being about more important things in the marriage, such as money. When a spouse starts lying, it can't help but have a negative effect on the marriage. Once you catch your spouse in a lie, trust is always going to be an issue. I know from experience that once you are lied to, especially more than once, you always doubt anything your spouse tells you. You get to the point in your marriage where there is no longer trust and the marriage starts to fail.

Of all the lies, cheating is by far the worst. Infidelity breaks a sacred vow made by two people when they are married and when that vow is broken it does tremendous damage to a marriage. Most marriages don't survive infidelity as all trust goes right out the window. Some spouses, however, feel that the marriage is worth fighting for and are willing to forgive their lying spouse. Personally, I don't think I could be that forgiving and I definitely couldn't forget. I mean, I would always be wondering if my spouse was telling me the truth about where he was going every time he left the house.

Honesty is a necessary ingredient for any healthy marriage. Of course, love is important, but it's hard to build a successful marriage if you can't trust the person you plan on spending the rest of your life with. Marriage takes a lot of work from both spouses and lies just make it harder. There's enough to worry about in life without wondering if your spouse is being honest with you. Living in doubt is a terrible way to live.

More about this author: Wendy Brooks

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