Family Bonding

How to Cope with Relatives who have Deceived you



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Most people put a great deal of trust into their family members. That is because those are the people that you should be able to trust more than anyone else in the world. It can be difficult to cope with a family member who intentionally deceives you for any reason. If you have a family member who has been less than honest with you, you have to figure out how to cope with it.


Here are some tips for how to cope with family members who deceive you:


Confront


The most important step in coping is to confront the family member who has deceived you. Tell them what you know about the deception and that you don’t appreciate it. Do not let this sit inside your head. Get it taken care of by talking to the person who has hurt you. It will make it easier for you to move on in the future with this family member. Things will never be the same, but, family is family and it’s likely that you won’t turn your back on them any time soon.


Learn Forgiveness


Learn how to forgive a family member who has deceived you. This may be hard depending on what the deceit was about. However, finding forgiveness for that person will make it easier to cope with the deception. Forgiveness is the ability to let go of what has already happened so that you can move on without letting it get the best of you.


Try to Understand


You may never understand why a family member has deceived you, but you can try to understand it. If you can understand why, it makes the above step much easier to accomplish. Talk to the family member who has deceived you to find out why it happened. This creates the chance for you to let them know that they don’t have to lie to you about anything. Once you understand why the person lied, you can make a decision about whether the deceit may have been justified or not. Not everything is as clear cut as we think that it is.


Move Forward


Once you know about, understand and forgive the deceitful relative, it is time to move forward. Nothing will change what happened and it will probably create trust issues between you and the relative for a long time to come. You can move forward though. In fact, that is about all you can do. You can’t stay focused on the deceit forever if you want to have a normal life. It’s done, let it go and give yourself a chance to heal.


It hurts when a family member is deceitful to you. It makes you lose the trust you had in them from the start. Once you have been lied to, things just can’t be the same moving forward. You can build on it though. If you hold on to your anger for too long, it will destroy you. Don’t let that happen. There are far better things you could be doing with your time.

 

More about this author: Jane Demerica

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