The best way to deal with a passive aggressive boyfriend is not to at all. That old saying, "there are plenty of fish in the sea" is really true and a whole lot of those fish are emotionally healthier and less dangerous than the passive aggressive ones. However, the heart doesn't always listen to all those old adages and reasonings that the brain can take in, now does it? That being said, there will be many girls and women who will have boyfriends who are passive aggressive in their behavior traits and words. Thus, learning how to deal with this sort of relationship is the step to take if you are going to choose to stick one out.
You may not even realize that your boyfriend is passive aggressive, so a typical clue that you can look for is that a passive aggressive person will generally be an expert at handing out veiled insults and criticisms, and doing so with a smile on their face. Even during an argument, they will generally maintain an even tone of voice and possibly, still the smile.
The main problem with dealing with a person, especially in a close relationship such as a romantic one is, is that communication is extremely difficult. The passive aggressive person is hard to understand and sometimes, you will only realize later that something that was said or done was actually quite insulting or demeaning to you. You should educate yourself as much as possible on this type of personality if you are going to share a close relationship with a person who is passive aggressive.
Talk with your boyfriend about the passive aggressive traits that you are seeing in him and let him know that you are having difficulty understanding what he really means at times. Essentially, he needs to know that you know what is going on and that you aren't just oblivious to it.
When you hear or see that he is using passive aggression as a means of confusing a discussion or situation, put an end to it immediately. You may choose to simply walk away and let him know that when he is ready to talk about things more realistically, you will be ready to hear him out, but not until then. Another option is to request that he say what he means, or to let him know what you are hearing him say. This is not usually the actual words he is using. Follow this up by asking him if this is really what he means, just so that you are both clear on the matter.
Dealing with passive aggressive people in general is not easy. In an intimate relationship, such as with a boyfriend, it becomes even more difficult at times. This is due to the difficulty in communication that you will encounter. There are also many veiled, yet demeaning, comments made by passive aggressive people that can really hurt you or hold you back from doing things that are your dreams and goals. Use both caution and wisdom in your dealings with a passive aggressive boyfriend, and never let them, or anyone else, hold you down with words that make you feel less than you really are.