Tips For Marital Happiness

How to Deal with an Irritating in Law

deepa's image for:
"How to Deal with an Irritating in Law"
Image by: 

The relationship between a mother in law and daughter in law has always been a subject of discussion.  Before discussing about how to resolve the problems, it is better to take a look at what causes the friction. Predetermined attitudes are what make the relationships with mother in laws bitter. A woman is always very open to her son in law. She trusts her daughter to have chosen the right man and wishes her daughter to be safe. This wish makes her put on her best behavior when her son in law is around. At the same time, she is very possessive of her son. She feels insecure when her son who had considered her as ‘THE’ person to rely on brings in a woman much younger and beautiful than she. There the problems arise. A negative attitude colors the communication between the mother in law and the daughter in law and the problems begin.

While dealing with non cooperative people in general, it is safe to remain detached. One should not react or respond to hurting words, taunting insults and repeated argumentative points.  When a argument starts between a daughter in law and a mother in law over some silly issue, one of them usually starts to talk about past hurts or grudges. One thing leads to another and another fight is born. So, the trick is to avoid the taunt or insult and change the subject. It is difficult to practice this when living together. However, it should be remembered that love can conquer even a wild beast, so what to say of a human.

A person cannot be won over by pointing the faults. Fault finding will only cause animosity, not friendship. A daughter in law is young and she must understand that it is insecurity that makes the mother behave like this. She can treat the lady as her own mother and confide in her. Many women have been known to consider their daughter in laws as their own daughter after a while. Taking the mother in law into confidence has also got many advantages. She will be able to advice her son when relationship between her son and his wife become sour. A man will always trust his mother and this can be of real help to the daughter in law during the storms of life.

The question of enduring a mother in law will not arise if both women love without any trace of selfishness. A mother’s experience can never be replaced by online friends or forums. A little bit of forgiveness and a little bit of love can make the relationship very satisfying indeed.


More about this author: deepa