Family Dysfunction

How to Deal with Family Estrangement



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Family estrangement happens when the family members come to an impasse in the relationship. The subject that cause the estrangement is so strong that it causes the family members to separate for a long period of time, possibly for the rest of their lives. Estrangement seems like a drastic measure to take, but there could be very good reasons for it to happen. Such is the case when abuse was involved. There comes a time where one family has to walk away for good in order to get his/her life on track.


Dealing with a family estrangement can be difficult. You have two people who love each other very deeply. No matter how deep that loves goes, they can't be together without horrible feelings invading the situation. If an estrangement takes place in your family, you have to learn to deal with the consequences of it.


Here is how to deal with an estrangement in your family:


Understand It


It may not always be easy to understand why there is an estrangement in the family. That is especially true if you are not one of the people who wishes to be estranged. You have to find a way to understand what happened so that you can better cope with the situation as it is. You may not think that someone should estrange themselves from the family. However, if there is a good enough reason, that person has to do it otherwise, he/she will sink deeper and deeper into an anger that cannot be released properly. Sometimes a person simply has to let go of what he/she cannot change and estrangement is doing just that.


Live Your Life


If someone has estranged themselves from you, allow them to do it. They apparently think that it is the best thing for them. You can't change how they feel so give them time to deal with it. You have to deal with it the best way you can. In order to do that, you have to live you life without that person, at least for a while. Estrangement is never easy for anyone. When it occurs, the reasons are usually very good and that means that someone had to have gotten hurt very badly because of it. Live your life the best that you can while that person is coping with his/her issues. Eventually, things usually work themselves out.


Make Amends


If the estrangement is your fault, you should try to make amends the best way that you can. Apologize when you know you are wrong. Work on ways to change yourself in order to show that person that it won't happen again. The proof is usually in the pudding. Make this time count and make yourself a better person. Even if it doesn't bring you back together with your estranged family member, it will make you a better person to others in your life.


Estrangement is one of the worst family issues to get through. You have to deal with it the best way you know how. Don't push the other person to change the estrangement. It is tempting, but it will only push the person further away. It is about giving it time. Time has an amazing way of fixing things.

 

More about this author: Jane Demerica

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