Communication Issues

How to tell if someone Hates you

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"How to tell if someone Hates you"
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Unless you are pretty thick-headed, it is easy to tell when someone dislikes you. Just whether or not that aversion has escalated into actual hatred is more difficult to judge. And, it really doesn't matter. Your response to either emotion should be to stay out of his or her way either permanently, or until you discover the cause of the ill will and have taken action to correct it.

Of course, if the person is a family member, the problem becomes more difficult. You can`t always avoid him without causing a rift among relatives, and this would be harmful to you and everyone else in the clan. If this is the case, more definite steps will have to be taken to resolve the issue. But first, let`s be sure there is a problem.

Here are some ways to know that you are not on someone`s ``most lovable`` list (if he's an extrovert, he'll come right out and tell you in no uncertain terms. Otherwise watch for these signs:)

• When you are in the same room, he will position himself as far away from you as possible.

• If there`s a general discussion, he`ll always take the other side, and argue his points heatedly, perhaps using inappropriate language when speaking to you.

• He`ll take great pains never to look you in the eye. When you look his way, he will quickly turn his gaze in another direction.

• You`ll never be on his guest list for anything.

• If you try to engage him in conversation, he`ll immediately make an excuse and walk away. If he`s really bitter, he`ll walk away as soon as he sees you heading in his direction.

• If you phone him, he won`t answer. If you leave a message, he won`t return it.

• If you go to his house, he won`t answer the door.

• If you pass him on the street, he`ll lower his head and not return your greeting. If he sees you coming, he may cross the street to avoid you.

• If he`s a family man, you`ll probably notice that his wife is very cool to you also. His children may avoid playing with your children, or be deliberately mean to them.

I've given these examples of hateful behavior in a male, for clarity and brevity. A female will show animosity in a similar manner; in fact she may be even more vicious.

If your antagonist is a family member, try to meet him in private and resolve the problem. If you can`t corner him or he won`t discuss it, try to enlist the aid of a respected and trusted elder of the group to see how you can at least coexist on occasions when you must be together.

Then, try to forget it and move on with your life. There will always be people who don`t like us very much. That`s O.K. There are probably some people we don`t like very much either. Personality clashes happen. Often it`s no one`s fault.

The fact remains that the world is full of nice people, most of whom you have yet to meet. So, smile, put on your best bib and tucker, and get out there and meet them!

More about this author: Carolyn Tytler

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