Dealing With Problem People

Men and their Egos

Ann E. Smith's image for:
"Men and their Egos"
Image by: 

Young women who have dating issues may not have figured something important out: most men have big egos, even the nice ones. That's right. And not only are their egos big, but they are also fragile!

So for these women who do not get this fact of life, they may find themselves not hearing from guys after two or three dates? And the pattern continues.

They are perplexed as to what the problem is, not realizing that it has to do with the fact that they are not remembering that men have egos that require careful handling! Instead, they are more prone to put a guy in his place, which does not go over well with the male pride.

So what is she missing? How could her behavior be different? Below are a few tips on how to deal with a guy with an ego.

Give Him Lots of Attention.

Men love attention. This means you should show interest when he tells stories about his accomplishments. Ask questions? Encourage him to embellish his account of things with more information.

When he has done something well, then give him both verbal and nonverbal pats on the back. Remind him how tough that must have been and how proud you are him! Let him know that you think he is smart, handsome and capable! And let him know often.

Learn to hold back on really speaking your mind - at least some of the time.

Men with big egos often do not want to hear the truth. And they never want to hear, "I told you so." For them, such comments are assaults to their all-important pride. They will not go over well.

Does this mean you should never speak directly or hold back from giving any form of criticism? Absolutely not! It just means that you need to choose your battles.

Learn to just roll your eyes when your guy says something over the top. He is just stroking his need to feel important. If it is a small matter, don't call him out on everything. Let him fool himself a bit, and hold off on feeling the urge to constantly put him in his place.

Do Not Criticize Him in Public.

When you do want to raise issues with a boyfriend or spouse whose ego is big, be sure to do so in private. While this is good form no matter what, it is particularly important when dealing with an egomaniac!

When standing up to him, choose your words carefully. Give things from the point of view of how things have made you feel, not what he has done wrong.

Learn to Make Him Think Your Ideas Are His Ideas.

This final tip is a really good one. If you want your way over something, then make your guy feel like it was his idea! For example, let's say you want the kitchen redone. Instead of demanding to have contractors come over and give your kitchen a makeover, ask your husband his thoughts on updating this room.

Ask if he would help you come up with ideas for it. Remind him how much more he would enjoy a more modern kitchen area. Gently guide him along, until all of a sudden he has had a bright idea - let's remodel the kitchen!

These are a few tips for how to deal with a guy with a large ego. It's not going to be easy. However, you truly love this person, then you are best served to figure out how to best manage him and his ego.

More about this author: Ann E. Smith

From Around the Web