Do you remember how your husband acted towards you when you first became lovers or when you were in the first stages of passionate romance? Sure this stage settled down with time and became a more comfortable secure feeling when you were with your husband, but you still never doubted his interest in you. You even had big passionate rows when you both said hurtful things but the making up after was still fun and you still never even wondered whether he still loved you the same. You never thought love would die but now you worry that it has. The following signs are what to look out for:
The look in his eyes
The main way you can tell that your husband is no longer interested in you is by the look in his eyes when you walk in the room. His eyes are so flat and expressionless that you might as well not be there. These eyes don't belong to someone who is head over heels with you. They don't even belong to someone who has said they hated you in heated rows in the past but then regretted it. Neither do the eyes belong to someone who is secure in your presence but worships the ground you walk on, even if the first passionate throes of romance have died down a little. No, these eyes belong to someone who really doesn't care whether you are in their life or not. There is no love and not even any hate as that would still indicate extreme feelings even if they were negative ones. Oh no, this guy really couldn't care at all.
He no longer wants to please you
Remember when you husband couldn't do enough for you. He would drive to the other end of town just to buy you your favourite type of ice-cream. He would have a nice cup of tea waiting for you in the morning. If you had back-ache, he would run a hot soapy bath for you. He wanted to make you happy and constantly thought of ways he could do this. You really felt that he was there for you in all ways. But the man you are with now rarely seems to consider your needs. If he can walk out of the door to work without even saying goodbye to you, he will do. Forget the morning cup of tea you used to share. Now its two people like ships in the night who hardly talk or converse with each other. You feel like you are sharing a house with a stranger. But this stranger has no feelings anymore toward you.
He avoids all physical contact with you
He no longer touches you. His physical desire for you was always present at all stages in your relationship. Sure you might have stopped having physical relations as much as previous, especially with the arrival of young children in your lives. But this guy never even wants to go near you. If you sleep in the same bed still, you are likely to sleep with a huge gap between you. There are no hugs or cuddles or tender moments any more.
He avoids emotional intimacy with you
The disinterested husband never wants to talk to you. He does anything to avoid intimacy with you, especially talk about feelings. He will keep himself busy in the house doing practical jobs or he may stay out of your way in the garden. He may spend longer hours at work or may develop outside hobbies that you do not feature in. He acts like he is a single man again and you do not feature in any of his plans. You feel that he is not emotionally available to you. For example, you may feel upset because one of your friends has died. But rather than sit by you and try to comfort you, he will walk out of the room or sit there flicking the remote control when there is nothing he wants to watch on TV. Basically, anything is better than being with you.
He values other people or hobbies more
Chances are, that if your husband is not showing love to you, he is showing it to someone else. It is likely he may fancy someone else or may have already started an affair. Even if it isn't a love interest that is keeping your husband more enthralled than you are, it may be devotion to a hobby or interest which he uses to distract himself from the emptiness he is feeling.
If you recognise the above signs, it is extremely likely that your husband is no longer interested in you. But please do not jump to any conclusions. Your husband may be depressed or have work stress issues or may even be physically ill. If you have noticed signs that indicate that your husband is no longer interested in you, then you need to consider marriage counselling so that deeper issues can be discussed. There is always a chance that even long term marriage difficulties can be resolved so please do not feel disheartened.