Dating Psychology

Signs that you are being used in a Relationship Unreasonable Demands References to the ex

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While everyone wants to be happy in his relationship, unfortunately, this is not always the case. Sometimes, even though you invest all you have in your relationship, you may find out that feelings are not exactly mutual.Painful as it may be, you may discover that you are being used in your relationship. Do you know the warning signs?

Signs that you are being used in a relationship

1. Constant references to the ex

If you discover that your partner keeps mentioning his ex every chance he gets, that may be a reason to worry. In all probability, this means that he is not over his ex and their breakup yet. There might be old wounds that still need time to heal and your presence helps towards that direction. While this does not necessarily mean that your partner does not have genuine feelings for you, it does mean that at least in part, he is using you to get over his ex.

2.  Unreasonable demands

Another sign that you are being used in a relationship, is when you realize that your partner makes unreasonable demands. If for example you are asked to stop working or not to hang out with your friends often so that your partner can have more time with you, that possibly means that your partner uses your presence in his life to fill his own voids. Maybe he doesn't have friends or hobbies and needs you by his side all the time so as not to feel alone. Or maybe he is too afraid that he is going to lose you if he lets you enjoy your independence and keep a part of your life to yourself.

3. Attempts to patronize

If you realize that your partner attempts to patronize you into the person he would like you to be (in all probability someone like him), then you should be warned that you are being used. A partner that needs to transform you into someone else, does not truly appreciate you for who you really are, not in the way you deserve at least.

4. Constant comparisons

A partner that tends to compare you with other people in his life, apparently wants you to feel bad for not living up to his standards. While it is human to be making comparisons on a subconscious level once in a while, when that happens consciously and on a regular basis (and not in your favor), that means that you are just not good enough for your partner. Apparently, you are second best that your partner had to settle with, because he couldn't have his number one choice.

5. Being blamed for everything

If your partner tends to blame you for everything that goes wrong in your relationship, this is another warning sign that you are being used. It takes two to create and develop a relationship, therefore both parties should be blamed equally for problems that arise. For your partner to blame you for everything, it means that he refuses to take responsibility for his own share and does not respect you enough to treat you as equal. Blaming you even for his own mistakes and inappropriate behavior proves that that he has put himself on a pedestal.

By learning to recognise the above outlined signs, you will manage to end an unhealthy relationship before things get out of hand.

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