Communication Skills

The different Ways in which People Communicate



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Communicating our differences, is different than communicating from our differences. We are all different within similar ways. This is why different people have been categorised into being of various personality types. We all communicate in different ways, because we are all different in many ways.

We must remember that communication goes both ways, both to and from the person communicated to, but also to and from, within our own self. What I mean here is that we all have different preferences or styles of communication, firstly in communicating directly to others, and secondly in the way that we interpret the communication coming to us, from others.

Can we ever ascertain why there are these differences in the way that people communicate with each other?

In its essence, communication is the way that you connect to another from love. Love can be interpreted in various ways, but at its most upper level, it is described best as being full unconditional love.

Communication must take into account the different personality styles of each person.

Communication levels are based on our consciousness levels, and these levels are limited by the amount of love that we can presently understand, as being always present at all times, in every life experience. If we make a point of seeking and seeing this love, that is always present in all of our conversations, it allows us to take a humble step back. This active non action prevents our natural tendency to pounce out and trounce our partner in conversation, with a reply that is coming from some other inappropriately spontaneous reaction, or from one of our programmed response patterns, first.

Looking for the love in communication allows us to talk directly from our truths, or from who we really are. All of us are different, and this is why communication is different between us.

We need to think wisely while still communicating from love, and not just from our mind. Wisdom on its own is a rendering of a weaker form of our observed knowledge. Love makes it strong, as it then becomes a sharing of our truth with another soul. Love transforms the wisdom of our ever-growing communication skills into reality.

The experiences of every soul differs. This often causes a different interpretative stance to be held in the other person than what you might be holding onto from within yourself. This position that is being held onto by the other person will show up in their internal rendering, or in their interpretation, of what you have said to them, as it is being translated all into an intelligibly understood input of your ideas within themselves.

Your ideas must fit into their current beliefs, thoughts and conscious awareness levels in order to be able to be fully understood at that same level. This is why we communicate best with someone that is relatively at the same level as us in their self development, self awareness, and consciousness levels.

When we are well matched in personality and in our understanding and consciousness levels regarding love, and in how much wisdom of love has been already developed in us, and that we are currently living from, our communication is also much better matched, because the differences between us are less far apart.

There are many methods of categorising similar patterns of personality, thinking, character or our dominant demeanour and way of behaving as ourselves.

Usually though, it will all boil down to being fitted into around only four specifically different types of people. These types are sometimes referred to as being different temperaments.

The first type is the analytical, rational, thinker type of person. They are methodical, and seek explanations, wanting to understand exactly what you have said, and why you have said it.

The second type is the driven, motivated, decisive type of person that never the less still tries to identify with your position, but more from a controlling attitude or with a teaching superior type of air about them.

The third type is the connector type of person that tries to see things from relating to the other person's point of view. They are generally helpful people who try to take the extra effort to understand your position in relation to them, and to the rest of the World. They enjoy physical closeness and emotional contact, enjoying the sensory input of communication.

The fourth type of personality is the overly expressive dramatist type of person. They are usually inwardly insecure and need to make a scene outwardly to cover over and hide their inner inhibitions. They are excitable and overly emotional and this nearly always gets in the way of proper receiving of the other person's correct communication message.

Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961), the Swiss psychiatrist called these four types of personalities, differing functions of our ego. He identified the four functions as being the feeling, the thinking, the intuitive and the sensationalistic.

The thinking person is all caught up in their heads with their thinking. The feeling person tries to feel their way around by using their heart as a thermometer or measuring tool of other's feelings about them. The intuitive is more spiritually minded trying to find connections based on intuitive inner knowing or we might just call it to as following their gut feeling if we didn't want to add the spiritual connotations.

These four distinct personality types have a major affect on our ability to give and receive communication.

These basic types described rather basically in layman's terms are, the chatterbox or motor mouth, the sanguine or emotional, the thinker or the mind trapped individual, and the worrier or the fine picky type, or nit picking type of person

These tendencies all affect communication, because all communication is usually being filtered through your particular favoured personality type tendency. This functioning set up pattern of your soul which manifests in you through your lower bodies is usually attached to you via your mind. Your mind is set up to match your basic type of personality, and which is more a God given leaning towards you being a certain type of soul depending on your soul's current disposition and ability, to either love or fear.

Our soul is growing in its ability to love wisely with greater understanding of love's truths as they sit within God. Our communication skills grow right alongside of our expanding capacity to love more and more unconditionally perfectly. This is why a spiritual master like Jesus was also a perfect communicator in all that he said and did, while he was on the Earth in a human body.

The different ways in which people communicate is linked to the different types of person that they currently are. We are all on a path towards learning certain lessons of love. When we reach a perfection of living from only full unconditional love, we will find that our communication ability also then communicates perfectly to all others from this same level of love as well.

It was the Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu, who reportedly said this, a long time ago:

“ He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know.”

With apologies to his translator, but I feel that he should rather have put it, in this way.

“ He who knows, speaks with love, and not just with empty words. He who only speaks, does not know love.”

I have found that most philosophers do not know love, because they have philosophised it all away with their minds. Let us all not ever make this same mistake for ourselves. Let us blend our different styles of communication back into the oneness that is perfect love, loving.


More about this author: Steve Marshall

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