Family Dysfunction

The Effects of Fatherless Families on Boys

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"The Effects of Fatherless Families on Boys"
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Homes without fathers...the single most devastating blow a family can face. Even though over the last fifty years, the image of a father has gone from strong provider that knew what to do to an incompetant yet lovable guy, a father is the key to making a boy into a man. The kind of father a son has will determine the man he will become.

If a child has a loving, caring and involved father in the home, they are less likely to indulge in other damaging behaviors as they grow older. So many have said that all a father is good for is to get the child here, pay for the child and that is it. It is such a distorted picture of what a true father is.

For men, it's not just making a baby that makes you a father, it is the constant, daily responsibility of loving, caring, disciplining, providing, correcting, encouraging that creates stable individuals.

A fatherless home is one where the mother is often stressed out and exhausted from fulfilling not only her duties as a mother, but that of a father too. In her fatigue, she will be less loving, available and open to her children. They can become burdens rather than blessings. She may even blame them, especially if the young man in any way shape or form, resembles his father, that it was his fault his father left.

This results in children feeling unwanted and unloved. Human beings need to be loved, accepted and belong to something. If they don't get those things from home, they will find a way to seek them out. Hence, children act out in school, seek out gangs, find a way to numb the pain with dangerous habits such as sexual promiscuity, substance abuse, crime or even suicide.

Fatherless young men grow up without the benefit of knowing exactly what a man is and what he should do. Sometimes,they grow up looking for a woman to take care of them. They grow up with a distorted view of themselves, their fathers and generally distrust men altogether.

In some homes, they grow up into men who make babies all over the world, but seldom assume the responsibility to raise them, just as their father before did. Some will grow up and search out the love of a father in another man. Some will grow up and be good people, but won't understand what it means to be a man. Some will grow up, defy the odds and become better men than any they have ever encountered. However, the last group of young men will often say it was a father-figure that helped to mold and shape him into the man he became.

Most of our troubled young men came from fatherless homes.Go through any prison, and ask them if their father was there and often times you will hear the same response - No. Some fathers live in the homes with their sons, but were abusive or disinterested in the lives of their sons. Those young men grow up just as fatherless as the ones that didn't have a father actually in the home or in their lives.

A father is the single most important factor in the lives of their sons. Without a father, a young man will spend a lifetime trying to find out who he is from others. The bottom line is, without a father in the home, boys are left to be raised by women, who at best teach them to be a good person, but how can a woman teach a boy how to be a man? If you want a stronger society, fathers raise your sons.

More about this author: S.M. Ross

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