Dating Dilemmas And Advice

The Pros and Cons of having an Affair

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"The Pros and Cons of having an Affair"
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No one ever goes into an affair if they are completely happy in their relationship. If you truly love your partner, even if George Clooney draped himself all over you and told you you were the woman he'd been searching for all his life, you may be flattered, but you wouldn't embark on an affair with him. If you're even contemplating an affair, you're looking for something that's missing from your relationship, and you're hoping someone else can supply that missing ingredient.

Assuming you step across the line from mutual attraction and flirting to full blown affair, what are the pros and cons of what you're doing? Let's look at the good side first. If you're in a loveless or stale relationship, the main thing about an affair is that you feel loved and wanted again. You may feel desirable for the first time in years, and perhaps you're enjoying sex again, after believing that you just weren't bothered about 'that sort of thing' any more.

Whatever your age, an affair makes you feel like a girl again. Romance is something you're experiencing, and not merely reading about, and somebody wants you for who you are, not just for what you can do to make their life easier. Almost always, your lover is totally different to your partner, although there may be a quality in him that reminds you of your partner as he was when you first fell in love. It's a new man and a new beginning for you - or is it?

Even if you love him with all your heart, it's going to be difficult, if not impossible, to plan a life together. It's not just about the two of you, even though when you're together you could be the only two people left on earth. There are lots of people who will be left unhappy if you ride off into the sunset together. If you're not exactly in the first flush of youth - and older people do have affairs, you know - could you deal with never being able to see your grandchildren again, because that's what it might come to.

If you decide that you can't hurt those around you by breaking up your relationships, there's the agony of being apart and spending most of your life with your partner, when what you really want is to be with your lover. It's a constant feeling of settling for second best, and it will surface every time you have a row with your partner or he does something to upset you.

When you weigh up the pros and cons of having an affair, is the great sex and the feeling of being loved and wanted again really worth the heartache of being apart? Only you can decide that. It's your life, and it's the only one you've got, so you owe it to yourself to make the best decision for you.

More about this author: Sandra Piddock

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