Dating Psychology

Things not to do when you want a Man to Commit



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Sand and water when mixed properly can build castles.

There may be many effective ways to convince a man to commit to you, but if it isn't through honesty, you may only be prolonging an inevitable break-up. The first priority when you are pondering how to create a deeper bond with a man is to remember who you truly are. There is no point in gaining a commitment through false pretences. You are sure to be unhappy in the future, you will never feel like it is you your man loves and he will feel like he is with someone who never really existed. If you are completely convinced that you cannot come to your partner and discuss your future openly, that could be a red-flag that this isn't right for you. If you feel safe in going to him, there are ways to communicate with him effectively about how you are feeling. Using good communication to further your relationship builds a strong foundation for the future you want.

Skip the waterworks and vapors. Most men would rather face sword battle than a crying woman on any given day. Therefore, it is best not to try to have this particular conversation in moments of tension or stress. He will be much less likely to receive the idea positively if he is looking at committing to someone who is presently screaming at him about how much he obviously doesn't care about me, me, me.

Be prepared to give him time to think. Treat him with respect with regard to his feelings. He may need time to think it over. Part of being ready to commit means that at some point you have taken the time to think through your relationship and decide that there is a reasonable value in taking it farther. You've had time to think about it so give him a chance to think it over too. Needing to think it over doesn't mean he doesn't want to be with you. However, don't ask the question if you don't want the answer. If you are going to ask you have to be prepared for an answer you don't want. Make sure that you are ready to deal with that before you approach him.

Have something to say. If you look like you are hesitating about talking to him he may read that as something is wrong and most men will switch to the part of their brain that works out problems. Not the ideal time for them to be discussing their emotions.

When the time is right to open up to him remember to keep it positive, leave the buts at the door, keep it short and give him an easy way to not have to talk about it immediately. Open with something positive and end with your own thought not a question. This way he is not obligated to say something but he does know how you feel. If he's ready to have the discussion he will. If he isn't ready to discuss it let him go when he tries to bolt for another area of the house. Don't take it personally.

If he is ready to talk about it give him positive reasons why you feel that you want to take your relationship farther with him. While you keep it positive you also need to keep it real. Long term-relationships are work and men aren't looking for a fairy-tale. It's great that he still gives you butterflies but this is a time to be logical about what a future means. Skip the soul-mates discussion and let him know that you respect him and you feel respected by him, and that there is a logical reason for your love to go farther.

Communication is a must for any successful relationship. Trying to move a relationship forward using "methods" is not a good foundation for a relationship to stand on. The best way to get your man to commit is to be with a man that is willing to commit and that you can discuss your feelings honestly with. Honesty is the best foundation for a happy and enduring relationship.





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