Dating Commentary

Understanding the Signs your Boyfriend is a Loser Relationships Red Flags Dating



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Every woman who has been in a relationship with a man at some point in her life knows that there are certain "red flags" that should be avoided. No matter how good-looking, well spoken, or seemingly successful a potential boyfriend appears to be, there are certainly some characteristics that some men possess that ultimately earn them the title of "loser." But, with so many men and so many relationships, how exactly are you supposed to know when your boyfriend is a loser? Take a look at the following list to help you understand the signs that can help you determine if your boyfriend is a loser.

#1 If he doesn't answer or return your phone calls.

Often, when men and women become involved in a relationship, women will notice that their presumed boyfriends will become increasingly distant. Although some men may make the excuse that they are simply "busy" if your boyfriend does not answer or return your phone calls on a regular basis he is a LOSER. Regardless of how busy an individual is, if a man truly cares for you and loves you, he will want to hear your voice, make sure that everything is ok, and generally have a moment to connect with you. Furthermore, if he can't take the time to return your calls, then this is a huge red-flag that there may be something else going on.

#2 He frequently cancels plans.

If you and your boyfriend frequently make plans for dates or some quality time, and he constantly reschedules or simply doesn't show, then it is a pretty good sign that your boyfriend is a LOSER. Not only does this show that your boyfriend is unreliable, it also shows that he is irresponsible. As his girlfriend, you should be a major part of his life, and if he wanted to maintain a happy and healthy relationship with you, he would uphold his commitments. If he constantly cancels, this is a huge red-flag that your boyfriend is irresponsible and unable to keep his word- neither of which are exactly considered "good" qualities in a person, especially a partner.

#3 He is physically or verbally abusive.

This "red-flag" could not be more straightforward. Any man who feels that he is entitled and decides that it is appropriate to physically or verbally abuse a woman is a flat out LOSER. Abuse is not only blatant disrespect for another person, physical abuse in particular is against the law and could be deemed assault. Don't waste your time convincing yourself that your boyfriend abuses you because that is just the way he shows you he "loves you" the bottom line is that anyone who loves and cares for another person would not abuse them.

#4 He settles on everything and aspires to nothing.

If your boyfriend has no ambition and no desire to better himself as a person, then it is likely that he is a LOSER. "Good" people, healthy and balanced people, typically do their best to learn each day and grow as individuals. If your boyfriend feels that the future is bleak, you are likely to get sucked into his negative attitude. Whether your boyfriend feels this way because of depression or another reason, it is important to recognize that it is not YOUR job to be his savior. If you really love him, encourage him to get support, and let him know that you will be there fore him, but that you cannot continue to be in a relationship with him if he decides against getting help.

#5 If he is addicted to drugs, alcohol, sex, or gambling.

Addictions can be extremely powerful. Although a number of recovering addicts are great people who simply went through "rough patches" in their lives, but even they are aware that throughout the period of time when they were addicted, they were not capable of being in a relationship. Addicts and their addictions can hurt the people around them the most, so steer clear if your boyfriend is an addict. Don't make the mistake of thinking that you will be the one to change him and that you will be his savior. Do not reward him with a relationship until he gets his act and his life together, he simply does not deserve you.

#6 If he doesn't have a job and isn't looking for one.

In this economy, it is certain that there will be a great deal of wonderful people out there who are unemployed. That being said, if your boyfriend has never held a steady job in the past, doesn't have one now, and simply has no intention of looking for one in the future, you may have a moocher on your hands, and a moocher is a bona fide LOSER. Adults should be held accountable for their individual actions and choices. If your boyfriend does not put forth the energy to take care of himself and be a responsible, autonomous adult, then it is very likely that he won't put in the effort required to maintain a relationship through the inevitable ups and downs of life.

#7 If he is a womanizer

Men have reputations of being highly sexualized. However, if a man in a relationship continues gallivanting around town with a number of women we he has made a commitment to you, then he is a LOSER. A man who is unable to uphold his commitments is not only self-serving, he also clearly does not care enough about you or your relationship. If your boyfriend is a womanizer, let him go. He simply doesn't deserve your loyalty, or your love!

#8 If he is dishonest

Everyone is bound to tell a lie in their lives at some point or another, but little white lies and huge bouts of dishonesty are very different things. If your boyfriend is constantly lying to you, he is a LOSER. Trust is a crucial aspect of any healthy relationship and if you can't trust anything that comes out of your boyfriend's mouth, then cut your losses, because it is time to move on!

The bottom line is that there are a number of reasons why a man can be a loser. If you have to ask whether or not your boyfriend is a loser, and you are not convinced that he is worth your time, then you probably should move on anyway. Even so, it can frequently be difficult to determine whether or not your boyfriend exhibits "red-flag" behavior, so hopefully the aforementioned list will help you uncover the truth about whether or not your boyfriend is a loser.

More about this author: Krystle Hernandez

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