Do my in-laws hate me? Well, my husband says no, but actions speak louder than words, right? I agree with the writer who stated that you shouldn't expect your in-laws to be just like your own parents...that's unfair. They are a completely different family (hopefully!) and have their own traditions and opinions.
The problem comes in when in-laws attempt to put a wedge between you and your spouse. For example, my in-laws continually tell my husband little "secrets," then tell him, "but don't tell her." Few things really aggravate me when it comes to his family anymore, but this one really makes me cringe. I've learned though, to just let them have their little secrets and not worry about it.
So what if they hate me? Not a big deal, right? That's much easier said than done. For me, as for many people, it's very difficult to ignore the fact that someone, especially someone close to me, has an extreme dislike for me. And generally speaking, there is nothing we, the unliked, have done to deserve being treated so unfairly. Unfortunately, as someone said in her article, when others mistreat you and seemingly hate you for so long, it becomes easier and easier to dislike them as well.
It becomes even easier when your children are the target of their malicious behavior. My husband had children with his first wife, and even they are favored over mine (In fact, for the first few years of our marriage, I heard about his ex-wife constantly - how wonderful she was, how he loved her dearly, and was even told by one in-law once that if she were to ask him back, he would go!). But, out of all the grandchildren (and nieces and nephews) in the family, mine are the most overlooked and least liked of all. They get in trouble for things none of the others would, get the fewest and cheapest gifts from everyone at Christmas, etc. (The Christmas thing doesn't bother me, mind you, but my oldest child is getting mature enough to notice those things.) My solution for that is to spend as little time with them as possible.
So, what do you do? Well, I pray. I pray and I ask God to grant me the patience, serenity, and peace of mind to deal with my in-laws when I am around them. I ask Him to help me see them in a new light; maybe there is something I don't know about that triggers this behavior. (Could it be another secret?) Either way, I have control over myself alone. I determine whether or not I allow them to destroy my wonderful mood and wreak havoc on my weekend away.
As the saying says, "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!" And in my house, I'm the Mama!