It is best to tell a man you are dating that you have children, at the first available opportunity. In some cases it may be possible to let them have that information before a first date has even been planned. This would be ideal, but we are not always given the opportunity to do so. Why is it important to tell them so quickly?
Children are a very large factor in relationships. Some men will not want to be involved with a single mother, seeing her children as a burden to him, or added responsibility that he does not want. By being upfront from the beginning, the man will have the chance to make a decision on whether he will continue to date you, or decide to part ways.
As frustrating as it is being a single mother trying to date, you may really want to withhold that information in hopes of the man getting to know you first. While that approach can work, it doesn't always. Some women spend months dating, getting to know, and fall in love with a man, only to have him leave once he is told about the children. This is why he should be told up front.
If a man is completely against the idea of being with a woman who has children, there is no sense in putting time or emotional effort into building a relationship that is doomed from the start. Keeping such important information from him could also cause a great deal of resentment once he finds out.
Another reason they should be told as soon as possible, is so they know that you have kids who depend on you and are forewarned about all of the responsibilities that go with it. Some men will not be very understanding if you have to cancel plans at the last minute, because little Billy is running a fever.
It is better for you to find out what kind of man he is in the early stages of the relationship. That way you will be able to decide if he is even dating or marriage material. If not, you can save yourself a lot of time and possibly heartache by ending the relationship before it goes any further.
As scared as you may be, the benefits of telling him about your children far outweigh any benefits of keeping silent. You would want to know if he had children if the tables were turned.