Children And Divorce

Why Abusive Fathers get Custody of their Children



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There is a problem in this country that few people are aware of unless they have been through it themselves.  In fact, unless you have been through it, it's hard to believe because it is a lack of justice.  This is the problem of loving mothers losing custody of their children to abusive fathers.  It is unfathomable to believe that this is even possible, but it happens every day in courtrooms across America.

Most people, including judges mistakenly believe that family courts give preference to mothers in most cases.  This has not been true since they did away with the "tender years doctrine" that was adopted from the early 1900's until the early 1970's.  The tender years doctrine stated that children were better off in the care fo their mothers, because mothers were more nurturing. 

In the 1970's, the "father's rights" movement began to gain momentum.  As a result, people started to look at the idea that children need two parents in their lives and not just one.  As father's rights gained more momentum, however, it started to be corrupted from within.  Abusive fathers started demanding custody of their children.  They started hiring attorneys that their former wives could not afford who fought for them to retain custody of their children.  They started to accuse their ex wives of alleging abuse only to get an upper hand in the divorce and custody battles.  They would even go so far as to accuse their ex wives of parental alienation if the children brought up the abuse.  Judges didn't want to appear biased, so they would side with the fathers more and more. 

This situation has now reached a crisis point, where mother's rights have been trampled on in favor of father's rights.  The truth is that any good father would not try to keep children away from their mother.  Just the act of isolating children from their mothers is abuse in itself.  Add to that the fact that studies have proven that most fathers who file for custody are abusive.  Non-abusive fathers usually don't file for custody because they know how important a mother is to her children. 

The abusive fathers get custody because they generally have more resources than the women do, and wind up draining the women dry so they have no choice but to give up.  The judges rule in their favor, because they think that these men simply want to be more involved with the children, and don't realize that the goal is to punish their ex wives.  The public perpetuates the myth that more women get custody than men, but among men that fight for custody, more men get custody than women.  Until this is addressed, it will continue to get worse.  Both women and men who are not abusive need to stand up to these practices and stop them.  Until that happens, women and children will suffer the consequences.


 

More about this author: Elaine M. Doxie

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