Dating Psychology

Why do Guys Date Needy Girls

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"Why do Guys Date Needy Girls"
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It's gone on since the beginning of time. Certain kinds of men cannot resist wounded birds, otherwise known as needy women.

More secure, intelligent and capable women often shake their heads in dismay. They cannot understand why men they would like to date are wrapped up in women with problems galore.

Why do they do it? Why do some men love dating needy women? They often repeat the pattern, even after being driven to the edge by the clinginess of their former girlfriends or wives.

Below are a few possible explanations for this baffling situation.

* Needy women often make egotistical men feel like superheroes.

Men with really big egos are often in need of feeling like a superhero. And they can usually get hero worship from damsels in distress.

A needy gal will put her guy on a pedestal. He will be her everything, and she will gladly rely on him for far more than what most people would consider healthy.

She will look up to him, and consider him her personal hero. What she will not do is challenge or compete with her guy. And that's just perfect for someone who needs a weaker woman to make him feel stronger.

* When someone is vulnerable, they can be more easily controlled.

Some men are possessive, and they want to be in control of all aspects of their lives - including their relationships. Such men tend to date needy women.

They recognize that these women are vulnerable to all kinds of control and manipulation. And they are more than happy to take advantage of the dynamics at play.

* Co-dependent men are attracted to co-dependent women.

Needy women offer suffer from co-dependency. Their strong need for approval and acceptance, paired with their fear of being alone, often leads them to jump into all kinds of unhealthy relationships.

Enter the co-dependent man. He needs a woman to make him feel complete. He cannot stand to be on his own. And he seeks needy women who will quickly dive in with him.

Even better, a needy woman will likely stay in the relationship no matter what. Her need to be in a relationship drives her, so she will more likely look past the co-dependent male's problems.

In other words, he will not send this kind of woman running. Yet a healthier woman would probably notice glaring red flags on the first date. Or possibly even before a date.

* He wants to fix someone.

Some men think they can fix other people, including their girlfriends and wives. They are drawn to women who really need help, and they try to take over the situation.

They may choose to overlook all kinds of warning signs, in their desire to turn their partner into something better and more whole than she is. In doing this, they often fail to realize that a needy woman may enjoy some of the issues in her life.

She may enjoy playing the victim, and have no desire to be fixed. Additionally, a person with constant demands and needs often quickly becomes more of a burden than a fixer upper.

While it may be hard to understand, some men love dating needy women. Somehow the weakness of others makes them feel better about themselves.

More about this author: Ann E. Smith

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