Dating Psychology

Why some Younger Men are Drawn to Older Women

James Harvey's image for:
"Why some Younger Men are Drawn to Older Women"
Image by: 

When I was a younger man 25-30 years ago, it was very hard to conceive an older woman as a subject of sexual objectification. The mere notion was laughable, ridiculous. Besides, I was too busy being a normal young man-pursuing attractive young women my own age or age group. This, of course, is not to say that there were absolutely no young men who had no interest in older women, it just was'nt as open and unabashed as it is today.

Back then, young men were taught to show respect for older persons, especially women who old enough to be their mothers, because they generally respected their own mothers, who were also older women. We very rarely referred to somone else's mother as a "hottie" or openly lusted after them, at least not as brazenly and shamelessly as today's young men. Today though, the attitude is entirely different. Older women are being openly and doggedly pursued by younger men more than in any generation previously.

Of course, the older woman/younger man fad is not new. It 's been going on for centuries. But because of the public norms and taboos of the time, these relationships tended to private,discreet. If the relationship ever became public, it could cause scandal, ignominity or shame. In Bible times, for instance, younger men were taught to treat "older women as mothers", and "younger women as sisters with all chasteness." (1 Tim. 5:2) Centuries later, in early Colonial America, a young man's being romantically linked to an older woman was actually considered a crime in which there were harsh penalties.

In modern times, however, the attitudes regarding sexuality has changed almost entirely. This was particularly true in the 20th Century, in which there were rapidly social changes, especially since the end of the Second World War. Since then, each successive decade has seen more bolder and more brazen conduct. By the 1960's, the doors of public morality was totally 'kicked down' altogether as more and more people began to openly live formerly-shocking lifestyles as never before. In time this attitude came to reflect on the way men and women related to each other-both younger and older.

Why have some younger men become sexually drawn to women not much older or younger than their own mothers? For one thing, it's because what they see on TV and in motion pictures. As the previous paragraph mentioned, this is mainly in effect because the loosening of the moral taboos of society in recent decades. No doubt one of the prevailing trends that has created this fad is the proliferation of pornography, parts of which are depicted on TV and motion pictures. Particularly since late 1970s and early 1980s there has been more and more of such programs with such thematic subjects. Certain comedy sitcoms at that time depicted middle-aged woman trying to seduce or  'making a play'  for the next door's neighbor boy or the paper boy.

In time this was reflected in movies. In one popular film of that time, the plot centered around a middle-aged woman who was sexually involved with her son's best friend. In even more recent years older women has been pornographized as never before. There are reportedly even pornographic web sites that feature older women in sexually compromising positions with men young enough to be their sons or even their grandsons. On one well-known TV show, one of the main characters, an older women in her early 60's, reportedly according to some allegations, dates a much-younger man on the same show, even though the same young man plays her son on the show, a charge that she has vehemently denied. Very, very odd indeed.

They say 'life imitates art', and so in time such above permissive attitudes has caused real-life younger men in recent years to openly and shamelessly pursue men their mothers and grandmothers ages.

Because of the above stated reasons among other factors, older women have become more and more sexualized as never before. I don't just mean women who are just a few years older, but women who in some cases decades older, in their 60's, 70's and even in their 80's and 90's, as shocking as that may be to some people. This isn't your mother's or grandmother's older women, who actually looked and acted their true age. On the other hand, some of them looked like you would expect most women those age groups to look. It's just that a lot of today's young men have developed a sick, perverted and unnatural desire for such women.

Because today's older woman is more health-conscious than older women in previous generations, they may look a lot younger than their true ages suggests-if they'd only tell the truth. Not to mention various physical alterations some have made to certain parts of their bodies to make themselves appear younger, even though in reality, they are not . Especially a lot of well-known veteran female actresses and entertainers have had skin injections to make themselves sexually attractive to younger men who perhaps may not have such a lurid interest in them if they looked and acted their genuine ages.

Another reason why some young men are attracted to older women is that they claim they have more experience than younger women, but more experience in what? What kind of   "experience" is a young man seeking with an older woman that he can't receive from his own mother at  home, who is herself an older woman? It's probably something I can't print and that no normal young man would ever think of doing with his own mother. Perhaps they need to stop reading so much pornography. Now if they want more experience on how to properly treat women-younger and older-then they should stay at home with their mothers and sisters.

Other young men argue that younger women are not as "mature" as older woman. This is utter nonsense. There are many mature young women;  in some cases they're a lot more maturer than today's so-called "mature women"; mature women don't date or marry men-or mere boys  the same age as their own sons and grandsons, they usually do that with mature men their own age group.   Maturity doesn't necessarily have anything to do with physical age.   A person can be physically mature but emotionally immature regardless of age.

In any event, though, the older woman/younger man is a popular fad today; like all fads it will eventually fade and people will go on to bigger and better things.  Older women will find they can have just as meaningful a relationship with men their own age group if not better and young men will finally realize the futility of such a bizarre relationship and begin to apprecate the true value of learning to love and relate to a woman of their own age group. The question is, who will eventually grow up first?

More about this author: James Harvey

From Around the Web